I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
