I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize