Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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