she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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