Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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