Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
