ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
