I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
