My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
