haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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