I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
