How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
