I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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