found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
