god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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