Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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