i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
The ass gains better be worth it
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