I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
soo... how was my night?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize