just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm just crazy horny about you
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
