no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
