i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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