He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
