Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
