My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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