eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
