I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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