Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
