no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Text me some of your sweat
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
