the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
