Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
