Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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