I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
