so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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