And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
