i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Let's paint friendship bongs
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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