I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
