Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
