If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize