great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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