why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
