I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
