I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
