getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
