Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
