Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize