Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
