My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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