You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
