All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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