My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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