PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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