he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
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