I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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