You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize