You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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