I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize