Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
