Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we made out on top of his cat.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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