Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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